I dont know if its the period or just me being alone all the time but everything is just making me crazy. friends lack of love life, and family. I am so tired of being sad. I feel like every chance shaitra gets she rubs it in my face that andrew is talking to her and not me. I am tired of hearing about her drama with all these guys that dont really want her. she should be luck that they are even giving her attention cause i cant seem to get any attention from guys at all. its sucks i hate being the jealous friend and it is starting to get to me that andrew talks to her more than me but what the hell it shouldnt. I am so tired of sad and lonely. I hate being fat but i cant change it because i drown my sorrows in food. maybe if i was happy then i would loose weight. but since i wont be happy i wont loose weight. like i havent been this unhappy since i was in college. my mind is running rampid with nothing but sad thoughts. it is slowly becoming really hard not to cry. the tears always come to the brink but never fall over. my mom is getting more play than me. and now i am jealous of my mother what the fuck is wrong with me. she tried to help me and it isnt gonna happen because i am not attractive to the guy apparently. WTF i hate my life. I fucking hate it so god damn much.