What Would You Do If You Knew You Couldn’t Fail?

So while at work exploring on Pinterest cause that what I do. I came across a Pin that presented 15 questions to use in a journal. So I figured that’s 15 new postings since I don’t use this as much as I would like to and if I don’t have to come up with the topic that makes it even better. So as this post and all following post will be the title of  the post is the question in which I will be answering. Also they may not all be long the shortest they can be is 3 sentences(that’s the rule that I probably wont have to worry about.)

If I knew I couldn’t fail I don’t know what I would do, no I shouldn’t say that, I have a list of things I would attempt to do. I say attempt because not failing does not necessarily equate success but it does mean I tried. I didn’t give up and I didn’t prefect what I was doing but it wasnt the worse and it wasnt the best. Cause as the say in many a movie “Failure is not an option.” Be it in life, in an activity, in anything that you do.

I may not be where I want to be in life right now but in the sense of this question, knowing that I couldnt fail I would fully apply this to my education in being able to achieve my doctorate easily in 2 years even without completing anything at a masters level.

If I couldn’t fail I would be a weight lose guru cause even though I have battled and officially come to love my body, I know that it would have been an easier way to get to this love of self-love.

If I knew I couldn’t fail I would do you know the politically correct thing and end war, world hunger, world and student debt, droughts, make getting a college education a  want not a need and make that shit free cause damn, make sure that those who laid down their lives for me to have my freedoms came home (after I have ended war) and had homes and employment and all the medical needs that’s required and there would not longer be anything as unemployment. Everyone will have some kind of paying task that will contribute to society.

If I knew I couldn’t fail I would encourage people to be better people. No I don’t want some ultra peaceful society where no one gets mad, but how about when we are mad we don’t go and kill some one or rape them or perform some heinous act on children. As much as I love me a good criminal minds episode and a good murder mystery but still violence is not the answer people.

If i knew I couldn’t fail, I would educate those on how the atrocities committed in our history should not be repeated in our present. That  they should not be celebrated and that no one should be diminished as a person because of the color of their skin, sexual preference, religion and their gender.

There are so many things that I would try because I just want to be a decent human being in the end. No I am not prefect and yes I have done and will probably do some things that have sealed my spot in my own special nirvana. And no that doesn’t mean that I have any right to tell others how to live and I know that but that wasn’t the question now was it.

Until next time,

Peace and Light.



So HBO has this fabulous show called GIRLS it is in its second season and it was created by the very talented Lena Dunham. The latest episode to come out of  her wonderful min was an episode completely focused on one of the GIRLS her own character Hannah Horvath. In this episode so amply named “One Man’s Trash” Hannah falls for Dr. Josh/Joshua played by the Patrick Wilson, whose trash cans she has been using to throw out trash from the coffee shop because she lost her dumpster key.  She proceeds to have what could have turned in to a quick sexual romp after apologizing for using his trash cans turns into a weekend of sex and playing house. After fainting in the steam room/shower of the doctors’ Hannah comes to an epiphany about how maybe she just wants to be happy like everyone else, cause who in the world doesn’t want to be happy.   She feels as if everything she had been doing thus far in her 24 years wasn’t completely fulfilling, but when Joshua doesn’t show the sentiment she needs she comes to the other realization that maybe she isn’t ready for that life. Joshua is a 42 yr. old doctor separated from his wife (going through a divorce, those words were never really spoken) and he seems to have it together which is what every girl wants. Apparently though Hannah wasn’t fully ready for that and while he is away at work she brings in the paper, reads it while having breakfast on the terrace. Then she takes one final walk through the Brownstone makes her bed and just before she leaves she takes out the trash and places it in the trash bin as she walks down the street, which is what started this all. Hannah was awed by the idea of being a well off adult which is what caused the whole continued use of the trash cans.

A lot of people, fans and critics alike have given Lena a lot of slack for this episode for multiple reasons such as:

  • The lack of the rest of the GIRLS(this episode should have been called GIRL)
  • The depth of the episode that many just didn’t understand
  • Peoples dislike for the character of Hannah
  • The fact that Lena is not afraid to show her breasts repeatedly on the show
  • The way Hannah dresses (I have to admit there have been some WTF moments when it comes to her outfits but people dress like that)
  • Trying to be too artistic
  • Lost its edginess
  • Becoming to serious
  • Unrealistic
  • Hannah is beginning to look like a whore
  • yadda yadda yadda…..

I feel as though this is completely possible. That there is some girl in NYC who this has happened to or maybe there is  a  Nancy Nobody in Lame Town USA and she has also experienced something like this. If you were to try to look at this from a different point of view which some fans have and that is Joshua was a recently separated man and he needed it more than Hannah. He is 42 yrs old and Hannah is 24 and as it was stated they are basically the same just reversed. Maybe he missed having a woman with him and to have this 24 yr old awkward girl who became fascinated with the life that could possibly be going on behind the nice exterior of the Brownstone and got a kick out of using his trash cans daily intrigued him. Its possible. He decided that he wanted her to stay when Hannah just wanted sex and to leave when she felt it was the right time. He pleasured her and made her feel beautiful when she didn’t feel that way and has never felt that way. He called out of work and demanded that she do the same and spend the day with him. This episode could have happened with any of the girls but it just so happened to be Hannah.

Yes this episode was completely out of character for Hannah but all the GIRLS are out of there boxes this season and doing things you wouldn’t think was possible for them. Marnie sleeping with Boothe Jonathan, Shoshana and Ray, well Jessa’s out of character relationship is over for now but still everyone of them had/are having their out of box relationship but everyone is finding such a problem with Hannahs.

I take this episode a little more to heart and see the depth and feel it. I often find myself comparing my life to Hannah’s and her thoughts, and after the fainting when she just comes to a realization about want to be happy and how she just wants what everyone else wants. I have had that rant before it may not have been in bed with a hot 42 yr old doctor but I have had it. Any girl who lives their life in the moment or are ok with just constantly wearing their hearts on the sleeves and getting nothing in return have had that rant time and time again. Girls like us are genuinely ok with being seen as the Debbie Downer since we often are the ones to see the realistic side of a situation no matter how negative. We live our lives by just being ok with other everything. Being mediocre is what is acceptable but not what we actually want. I personally thought that just getting my B.A. would be enough but there is that part of me that knows that if I get my masters than I am an adult. I will have an actual career. I will live on a salary and not paycheck to paycheck. These things seem like a fun idea:

  • To be with someone who thinks I am beautiful and isn’t afraid to tell me.
  • Someone who wants to play half naked ping pong and let me win.
  • To have someone stroke my hair after I faint.
  • To sit on the terrace and eat fruit and watch him read the paper.

I just as Hannah fantasized about that life. She experienced it and realized she just wasn’t there yet. She wasn’t ready to be a full functioning adult just yet.

To all of those fans/critics who said this episode wasn’t realistic and that it was implausible, I think you may just be unable to see outside of your box. Or that you are happy and don’t want or have a need for more that what you already have.  It may also just be possible that you don’t understand.  You don’t understand what it is like:

  • To be that awkward girl
  • To be the shoulder constantly cried on
  • To be the one always referred to as the bad friend even though you really are not
  • To be the weird one
  • To be the one with body issues but still show your body off (screw societies standards on beauty)

Any one can be a Marnie (the egotistical one), Shoshanna (the narcissist)  or Jessa (the free spirit), but you can’t just be Hannah (the Complicated One) unless you truly understand all sides of her. She embodies  everything that women find negative within themselves but then she also embodies everything that makes her relate-able  to her friends.

I will stand by this show no matter what everyone else says because I am living this life that is displayed on the show in my own way. I am living in an apartment I can’t afford on my own. I have a group of friends with an awkward dynamic. Watching this show is like getting lost in a good book because the writing is relate-able and realistic and sucks you. And if you feel like it is no longer sucking you in just move on. No need to bash the show or say that the writing is horrible or tear down characters you don’t like. Everyone of the characters will get their own shine. Don’t say the lead writer is playing favorites because she based a whole episode on her character.

Either see what next week has on store or move on that’s it.