If You Could Write a Letter to your 15 yr old self, What would it say?

Dear 15 yr old Chloe’,

Whoa where do I start? Do I start by saying it will get better? Do I start with telling you boys stop being stupid? That you achieve all your dreams early than you planned? Or how about your high school friendships last forever? Maybe you want me to start with our body image issues?

Well I guess I will start with that it gets better, but not in the way you would expect it too. Our body image changes even though our body doesn’t. It’s okay to be fat as long as you continue doing what you have been doing which is staying active, playing sports and basically saying “fuck you” to anyone who says other wise. No we don’t become skinny but as you get older you love yourself more and more. Yes there is still times of self doubt and self hate but chalk that up to puberty and the crazy hormonal imbalance you suffer due to being a female and Mother Nature having the craziest sense of humor ever. We get into Yoga which greatly improves our flexibility and our performance in other areas of life. We become more okay with our self. We accept that sometimes being alone is good. Jealousy is an ugly beast that we struggle with up until college because that about the time that our patience starts to really kick in and build up to know if we wait, things we want will eventually come.

That’s where the boys kick in. They definitely don’t stop being stupid. Oh goodness they just have a harder time understanding that no one has time for their nonsense. Now I am not saying that all guys are stupid, but don’t go stressing yourself out over them. They are not all as kind as “Waddle”. You also learn that along with your body acceptance guys accept it also. So that’s a plus.

Our career plans move along slowly due to our constant indecision to know exactly what we want to do with our lives. We major in psychology because we are so use to listening to other peoples problems.After college we work with children for awhile. We learn that even though we have no plan for our own we made a good choice. Grad school will be awesome eventually we drag our feet getting there but we have a plan. Just know we don’t achieve our 8 year plan F.Y.I.

Our high school friendships fail on some aspect. Some last past college, some crash and burn while in college just know you mostly out grow your high school friends.

So Yea our confidence gets better. No matter what that’s the best thing to happen just wait. It will be better than where you are now and also you get super crafty. Love it!

Respectfully,

Chloe’ at 28 yrs old.

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In The Yard

When I see you something new seems to happen

I seem to loose my feet and float away from this world

Become unattached without a single care

But then all of a sudden something reminds me

Reminds that I don’t belong to you

Just as you don’t belong to me

But when you are around

Things seem to change

I have always been free but this is different

This is me seeking a freedom where we are connected

Where you are mine as I am yours

Nothing else can matter except for us

As light needs dark and dark needs light

I need you to be more present in my life

The feelings I have are hard to describe

Often times I feel like a lost child

Wandering

Wondering

Waiting

For someone

Anyone

Preferably you to find me

Save me

Set me free from my fears

Fears of hurt, sadness, pain

Fears that someday you will do the same

But for now I guess

I will just have to use this pole as my tether

As I watch you secretly

Hoping that someday we can be together

I will just keep my distance and dream

As I hope you are watching me

As I am watching you

In the yard.